’ The two women stood there in the small hallway opposite the mirror. Just above the mirror was the cable jack. ‘I’ve never seen a cable jack in a stranger place,’ said Janet. Kimberly was watching them in the mirror, the hallway seemed crowded, the two of them, plus their images. When Kimberly spoke, she did so to Janet’s image, not to Janet directly. ‘It’s a really old building, so cable must have been an afterthought, I guess.’ ‘I guess,’ said Janet, taking Kimberly’s lead and speaking to the mirror. ‘Have you got a stool or something?’ Kimberly retrieved a stool from the closet, and as Janet was about to climb it, Kimberly gently took her arm. ‘Wait a minute,’ Kimberly said, again speaking to Janet’s image in the mirror that faced them, ‘it’s dirty up there.’ With a rag in her hand, Kimberly mounted the three steps of the stool. Janet never moved. The smile, that same small, thin smile never left her lips. When Kimberly reached the top step, she looked down. Janet’s face was level. How could I have been so stupid? Yeah, for sure, a vanity plate would be a potential security breach. I apologized for being quite so dumb. She smiled; “Now, I DO appreciate the sentiment, so, if you were thinking some kind of completely-over-the-top gold or platinum vanity bar brooch with those letters picked out in diamonds or rubies, nice big ones, then yes, I’d absolutely love it.”She giggled almost uncontrollably at my expression of horror, telling me that I’d sure walked straight into that elephant trap, and that ordinary regular-sized diamonds spelling out the letters would be just fine. As long as they were set in at least 18-karat gold, preferably 22 or 24. Nothing cheap or tacky.Okaaay. Riiiigghht.Maybe I’d better buy myself a lottery ticket or two.Next morning, I reported the conversation back to Helga; she laughed and smirked as I described my discomfiture. “I’m sure Peter Marco or Harry Winston on Rodeo Drive will be able to offer you something... acceptable to Mel?”She.
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